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U.S. Multinational Conglomerate, Zolacorp suffers Losses in Q3 Reports ZOLACORP (USA DIVISION) LTD (LISTED: NYSE)
Thursday September 16, 11:10 am ET NEW YORK (AP - New York) -- U.S. stocks moved higher Thursday, buoyed by a drop in Zolacorp’s move to appoint a new management staff. In the height and hype of the Google IPO, Zolacorp Insiders, accused of having an espionage spy that goes by the name "Septic Tank Sally" (who’s posted an extremely clandestine picture as a possible deep corporate operative)according to Deutsche Bank Security who holds much of Zolacorp Parent Holding’s Institution. Stock took a dive on opening when this alleged operative appointed a new board of directors while Chief Executive Office, The Zolad, was in meetings in Florida. This is a possible coup with in the company but there are no bids for a hostile take over due to the MASSIVE price of each share of Zolacorp’s prices. Zolacorp closed last night at $86,190 per share, due to pressure from the new board to split the stock. A potential 15,000:1 ratio would be the largest split every recorded in Wall Street’s History. However, despite "Septic Tank Sally’s" appointing a new board while the Chief was out, the stock is projected to possibly recover from the small dip (see chart):
Stockholders, in a frenzy of worry, send a private investigator into Zolacorp and snapped the ONLY existing picture of the new board of directors. They seemed to be very busy at work during this picture. Immediately after the picture was released, The Reverend Jesse Jackson is expected to make a speech in front of company headquarters in Langley, Virginia Today accusing Zolacorp for not employing more indigent migrant workers at Chief Executive Officers. The acting Chief Executive Officer as of this moment to replace the missing ZOLAD refused to answer to anything else but "Porch Balls" referring to his name. P. Ball’s 3 assistants spoke in broken Creole and said they will run the company fine so long as there is plenty of Popeye’s Fried Chicken brought into the company twice per day by Popeye’s They also demand a "40 of Malt Liquor by 2pm" Right now, The Zolad is unavailable for comment and is expected to fly in to Virginia on his corporate Jet soon. As always, we will keep you posted. Zolad plans of having the coup-style takeover board arrested and removed and resume business immediately and this "Septic Tank Sally’ investigated. The only photo suggests he may be an Al-Qaeda linked terrorists. The Russell 2000 index, which tracks smaller company stocks, was up 6.01, or 1.1 percent, at 574.53. Overseas, Japan's Nikkei stock average finished 0.2 percent lower Thursday. In afternoon trading in Europe, France's CAC-40 was unchanged, Britain's FTSE 100. Zolacorp caused a small bounce in the German DAX index driving it up 0.6 percent over night.
Multinational Conglomerate Zolacorp Page 1 |
