Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

The Montana contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. That’s $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. That’s $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Obama Government Stimulus plan works.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!
This is interesting..
After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again.

Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.

But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia : High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin.. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers:The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a “cooling” fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood Enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking &Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance.. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills.. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe it’s time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, “A banana a day keeps the doctor away!”

I mean in the case of the wheels falling off, they say that the bolts holding the wheels can fracture causing a vibration.  Well, if bolts from cars made in past didn’t fracture, why didn’t they just leave well enough alone and continue to keep making the wheel assemblies the same as years past?  If something isn’t broke, don’t fix it.

Car makers are spreading themselves too thin nowadays.  They try to make too many different models to try to keep everyone happy.   Why can’t car makers just make a handful of models and be good at making those?  For example, look at the latest Merecedes-Benz models available today.  They have like 35+ different models of vehicles they are cranking out right now.  How on earth could you manage to be good at making so many different models?  Compare to how many models they made in the 1980′s and 1990′s.  The models they built in the 1990′s were built like tanks and were built to last.  Then in the mid 2000′s they decided to go nuts making all of these different models and the quality suffered. Remember reading about how many problems per 100 cars Mercedes was having?  Their cars were becoming so unreliable after all of this huge expansion.

Car makers need to stop trying to be so greedy.  Look at Audi, for example.  Go to an Audi dealer and they only have a small amount of models to pick from.  And they don’t flood the market with vehicles in the US the way BMW and Mercedes is doing.  You see tons of BMW’s and Mercedes on the roads compared to how many Audi’s that you see.  The same with Chevrolet.  Look how many Corvettes you see on the road.  WAY TOO MANY.  They should make a limited production of these cars to keep their value up.  I hardly ever see an Audi R8 on the road compared to all of the Corvettes I see.  You have more of a head-turner going down the road if you don’t drive something that every Tom, Dick and Harry has.

For all of those of you who don’t know, a company called, “Core Logic” is going to be coming out with a new credit scoring system.  In the distant past,  many of you were able to default on your credit cards, get your car repo’d, not pay child support, alimony… or stop paying back a PayDay Loan!  If any of that stuff that was not reported on your credit report in the past, it is now going to show up as part of your credit score with Core Logic.

This is NOT going to be cool for a lot of people.  As of now, after 7 years your bad credit falls off and you get a fresh start.  So if you didn’t pay some utility bill 10 years ago, it’s no big deal.   But with with the new Core Logic credit scoring system, that will haunt you forever.  This is going to bite you in the ass when it comes time to try to buy a house or car with a low interest rate.

As if it wasn’t hard enough to get a car loan or mortgage, now these people are really going to put another nail in the economic coffin making it even harder.  Pretty soon we will have to be a CASH SOCIETY and not have credit anymore.  In my opinion, I think we should boycott the banks and simply not use credit anymore.  Do it like people did 30-70 years ago.  PAY CASH for everything.  If you can’t afford it, DON’T BUY IT.  If you’ve had your eye on a new BMW M3 or Dodge Challenger 6.4L, then save up for 3 to 8 years until you can walk into the car dealership and write a check for the full amount.  All these years, the banks have been robbing us blind with their high interests and fees.  I think it’s payback time.  Let’s simply boycott their services altogether.  Lots of people did the right thing by jumping ship on Bank of America and Chase and going to Credit Unions.  Folks… KEEP IT UP!  Don’t stop now!

Hit those banks where it hurts… RIGHT IN THEIR OWN POCKET! They’ve been sticking it to us all along so I think it’s time to do the same strategy a union does.  We should have something like a CONSUMER UNION that all works together.  If we don’t get our way, then we simply stop buying any products or services from a company until they make us satisfied.

For starters, we should start boycotting all of those banks that are shafting people with 10 to 20% interest rates on new and used car loans.  If you walk into a car dealership and they want to shaft you with something like 13% interest on your loan, leave that dealership immediately and find another place to do business with.  So when you decide to buy a new car, try to have 3 to 6 different makes and models in mind.  I did this recently.  The good folks at Chrysler thought they were going to rob me with 13.5% interest.  I went to another company and got a 2.9% loan, including getting them to knock down the price of the model I got and up the amount on my trade by another $1500 to make the deal go through.

An idea would be to have some central web site that you always check before you go to buy anything.  If the company is on the naughty list, then you don’t buy from them until they’ve changed their ways.  Similar to what happened recently when Bank of America was going to start adding those fees for debit cards.  Then DROVES of people made a huge stink and closed their accounts and went to credit unions.  Since the banks will have these credit checks on us to see if they want to do business with us or not, we should do the same thing on them.  We should check the company out similar to the way the BBB is, but this is more of a check to see if the company is in a BLACKLIST STATE.  You’d look up the company and see either a red light or green light.  If you see a green light, then make your purchases as usual.  If it’s red, then you know to stay away and find another company to do business with.

Let’s DO IT!

Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans.
I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!”
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Wife says to husband, “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car.”
He replies, “If you take it up the ass and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!”
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What’s the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET?
ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!
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A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all 5 of his beers and had raped his wife.
A moment of silence passes and the guy says, “I can’t believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!”
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Got this text from my brother recently. It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol’ Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock.
It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!” I denied his request because he sent me such an expensive text & also envy!
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Was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.
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Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the fuck out of this idiot at a party.
In my defense… when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.
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My wife just came in and said, “I don’t know if I am coming or going.
”I said to her, “Judging by the look on your face, you’re going – ‘cuz when you’re coming, you look like a Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!”
(And that’s when the fight started)
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I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked some chick called Penny – is that spooky or what?
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The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?”
Apparently, “Only to stop myself from cumming too quickly!”, wasn’t the right answer.
(And that’s when the fight started)
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Where is everyone from Perú??!  C’mon South America!  Why only Chile?  Let’s see other people from South America visiting our site.  Ahhh chucha.