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ZOLACORP (USA DIVISION) LTD (LISTED: NYSE)

Wednesday April 16th,

By Jim V. Murphy

NEW YORK (AP - New York) — With the new addition of the new CEO, Zolacorp management has decided to bring on some new hires with very diverse backgrounds.

Zolacorp’s new receptionist, Kimberly Rae Slaby. She has a Master of Engineering Degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science and a Master of Science Degree in Toxicology (Bioengineering and Environmental Health Division). She has years of experience of telemarketing or performing blind taste tests at various grocery stores around the country.

Zolacorp’s new network engineer and System’s Analyst, Craig Ehresman. He has responsibilities that include complete conceptualization, requirement analysis, design, and implementation of all aspects of the Intranet and WAN. This includes all Cisco switches and routers.  He never likes to keep anything closed. All containers he has will remain open.

George Andrews, Director of Marketing. George has a Master of Education (Ed.M.), Technology in Education Program, Harvard University located in Cambridge, Mass. He also has a Bachelor in Arts (A.B.), Computer Science and Education, Dartmouth College from Hanover New Hampshire. George also has in-depth knowledge of Informix-4GL, Informix-SQL, FoxPro, Delphi, dBase, HTML, JOVIAL, C, Ada, Oracle, EDI, RFID, FORTRAN, COBOL, J2EE, Visual BASIC and PASCAL. He left the programming world in pursuit of a career change. He assists Craig Ehresman from time to time. After work he is known to wind down and hang out at the local 7-11 to have a cold one.

Maria Diaz has started as the new Finance Director. She is known for covering a lot of area. She has graduated with honors from Northeastern University in Illinois and has a Ph.D. in Solid State Physics from Tufts University. Zolacorp is delighted to have Maria on board. With her credentials, there are thousands of companies that wish to employ her immediately. Fortunately, Zolacorp offered her the highest starting salary of $175,000, 3 months paid time off, and a performance bonus of $25,000 to $75,000 in December.